I read a blog on a fairly regular basis that has gotten me thinking lately.
The author is a strong Catholic with a wonderful family and a belief in guardian angels. I love reading the blog because it makes me think about my life, my outlook, and my faith.
I was raised Catholic, to the point of attending the parish school for twelve years, but I don’t know that I’ve ever had faith the way the blog author does. It’s reflected in every post, in every word sometimes. But it never feels preachy or overwhelming to me — instead, I just get the impression that it is so pervasive in the author’s life that it wouldn’t be possible to write without it.
It makes me want to have faith like the author’s. I haven’t had strong faith in a while. I believe in God, but we don’t have a close personal relationship these days. It was easier when I was in school and everything was “the Church this” and “the Church that” and I just had to follow the party line. However, once I got out into the real world, I started having real-world experiences and I realized I couldn’t just blindly follow what the Church said.
I suppose that I should say that I still do have faith in God, but I have no faith in the Church anymore. And so I’m kind of drifting a bit because I have to do everything on my own. I have to set my course, and while I have something to base it on, it’s harder to do it on my own. I want to have faith as strong as the blog author’s, to have it be as much a part of my life, to have it shape my decisions and my words.
It almost makes me want to cry sometimes to see how strong the author’s faith is in comparison to my own.