I had to return to post something totally not safe for work, small children, or the squeamish: the Twilight Dildo.
Yes, that’s right. If you ever had a raging desire to sleep with the walking, sparkling undead, now you can have your chance with The Vamp. It’s pale, it’s veiny, and, best of all, it sparkles! You can even put it in the freezer for a while for that bone-chilling undead feel.
All this and hours of creepy fantasy fun for the low, low price of $39.99.
That’s right, only $39.99!
I don’t know what disturbs me more, that it exists or that I just blogged about it like Billy Mays pitching OxyClean. But if you’re curious as to where you can get such a glittery pink paragon of passion, check out this site. I encourage you to read the reviews, but only if you have a bucket nearby — the Edward love is so intense as to induce one’s gag reflex.