Please to explain why you must be trying to waken Southern Honey and myself at an hour well before the time when either of us has to get out of bed?
Five in the morning really is too early for battering against the bedroom door and sobbing your feline hearts out, I promise. If you could only wait until closer to seven, I would be happy and would be much better-equipped to handle such necessary tasks as petting and feeding and fawning over you. The ridiculousness of the hour serves only to make me grumpy and tempt me to shut you both in your bathroom or one of the spare bedrooms so as to get some uninterrupted sleep.
We truly do worship you, o feline masters of all that is within these walls. But your constant demands upon my sleep-deprived brain are becoming too much for one so humble as myself. Please to grant me a night’s reprieve from your incessant meowing? If you do not see fit to grant my request, a visit to the most feared v-e-t will be forthcoming.
With most vehement obeisances, I beseech you.
Your humble servant,